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Epic Rap Battle of History 3: Abe Lincoln vs Chuck Norris
This is the 3rd Installment in the Epic Rap Battles of History between Former President Abraham Lincoln and Action Star Chuck Norris. it was released December 8, 2010. Lyrics Abraham Lincoln Four score and 65 years in the past I won the Civil War with my beard Now I’m here to whup your ass I’ve read up on your facts You cure cancer with your tears? Well, tell me Chuck how come you never sat down and cried on your career? You’re a washed up has been on TV selling Total Gyms And you’re gonna lose this battle Like you lost Return of the Dragon I’ll rip your chest hairs out Put em’ in my mouth I’ll squash you like I squashed the South I never told a lie And I won’t start now You’re a horse with a limp I’ll put you down. Chuck Norris This isn’t Gettysburg, punk I’d suggest retreating For I invented rap music When my heart started beating Chuck Norris doesn’t battle He just allow you to lose My raps will blow your mind like a verbal John Wilkes Booth Abraham Lincoln I’ve got my face on the side of a mountain You voted for John McCain I’ve got a bucket full of my head and I’m about to make it rain You block bullets with your beard? I catch em’ with my skull I’d make fun of Walker, Texas Ranger but I’ve never ever seen that show Chuck Norris I am Chuck Fucking Norris! I’ve spread more blood and gore Than forty score of your puny Civil Wars, bitch I split the Union with a roundhouse kick I wear a black belt on the beard that I grow on my dick I attack sharks when I smell them bleed I don't go swimming Water just wants to be around me My fists make the speed of light Make the speed of light wish that it was faster You may have freed the slaves But Chuck is everyone’s master Cast Nice Peter as Abraham Lincoln Epic Lloyd as Chuck Norris Results as of August 30, 2012 Abe Lincoln is winning with 56% of the Votes and Chuck Norris has 44% of the Votes according to Epicrapbattlesofhistory.com Trivia this rap battle was made with a $50 budget the Lyrics "Four Score and 65 Years in the Past" is a reference to the opening of Lincoln's Gettysburg Address which starts "Four Score and 7 Years Ago" which was delivered during the Civil War. It is also significant as Four Score is equal to the number 80 so 80+65=145. 145 years before the year 2010 (when this rap was released) was the year 1865 the year the Civil War ended which ties in with the line "I won the Civil War with my Beard". "Return of the Dragon" is the first movie Chuck Norris was in as a main character it also featured the late Bruce Lee. and as the Rap Battle States he lost the battle in the film against Bruce Lee. the line "I never told a lie and won't start now" is in reference to Abraham Lincoln's Nickname Honest Abe which he got by never telling a lie. all of Chuck Norris's lines in the rap with the exception of "This Isn't Gettysburg punk I suggest retreating" are references to the "Chuck Norris Facts" or "Chuck Norris Jokes" which claim that Chuck Norris is a "Divine" being. Most if not all the Chuck Norris Facts can be found here John Wilkes Booth is the man who shot Abraham Lincoln in the head April 15, 1865 at Ford's Theatre. the line "I've got my face on the side of a mountain" is in reference to Lincoln's face appearing on the side of Mount Rushmore. Walker, Texas Ranger is the first Tv Show Chuck Norris was on. it is also one of the most popular pieces of media that feature Chuck Norris.